THE  CLANCEY  <!nsl 


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THE  UBRARY  OF  THE 

UNIVERSITY  OF 

NORTH  CAROUNA 

AT  CHAPEL  Hlli 


ENDOWED  BY  THE 

DIALECTIC  AND  PHILANTHROPIC 

SOCIETIES 


PS3513 
.U6 
C52 
1904 


lp....».. 


THE      C  LAN  C^90022_21 5522 


^  Conielf2  in  Clwo  ^cts 


fS  3Stj 


BY 


FHACHER  ROWLAND  GUILD 

AUTHOR   OF   "  MY   COUSIN   TIMMY,"   ETC. 


BOSTON 
WALTER    H.    BAKER   &    CO. 


THE  CLANCEY  KIDS. 


CHARACTERS. 


:ti 


(As  originally  produced  by  The   Upsilon  Sigma  Society,  of  the  Hope  St. 
High  School,  in  The  Talma  Theatre,  Providence,  R.  L,  May  21,  igo4) 

Mrs.  Van  Sorrel Hope  A.  Bates 


Daisy,  her  daughter 
Nathalie  Whittier 
Dora  Smythe 
Rexie  Flounce 
Pearl  Dickory 


Schoolmates 


Margaret  Guild 

Hope  Spink 

Josephine  Sackett 

Avis  Danforth 

Louise  Godding 


Fluff,  a  colored  maid Leila  Tucker 

Mademoiselle,  a  governess Margaret  Westcott 

Mrs.   Clancey Eleanor  Upton 


Hopeful 

Dolores 

Dandelion 

Martha 

Mary 


Guests  , 


i  Margaret  Lyon 
Agnes  Jonas 
ine  \^(,ancey  i\ias \     Eunice  Fuller 

j     Bertha  Evans 
\    Martha  Spink 

(Miss  Parkhurst 
Miss  Reynolds 
Miss  Scott 
The  Misses  Manatt 

Costumes,  modern  and  appropriate. 


Scene. —  The  Van  Sorrel's  garden  with  Clancey's  back  yard  adjoining. 


SYNOPSIS. 

ACT  I. —  A  spring  morning. 
ACT  IL — The  same  evening. 


Copyright,  1904,  by  Walter  H.  Baker  &  Co. 


jm^ 


The  Clancey  Kids. 


ACT   I. 

SCENE.  —  A  low  fence  or  wall  runs  across  stage  center, 
from  left  to  right.  Front  stage,  a  garden,  entrance  either 
side,  rustic  hench  hy  fence  l.  c.  ;  stump  beside  it,  convenient 
in  height  for  climbing  fence.  Back  stage,  entrance  either 
side  (into  the  Clancey  hoiise^  r.,  if  convenient)  ;  washing 
hung  out  on  the  line. 

(Noise  of  stamping,  drumming,  shouting,  etc.,  as  the  curtain 
rises,  disclosing  IioFY.Fvij,T>ojjOB.BS,  Dandelion,  Martha, 
and  Mary,  back  stage,  having  a  parade.  Hopeful 
stands  higher  than  the  others^  l.)  ' 

Hopeful.  Halt !  (The  paraders  line  up)  quietly,  except  for 
giggles.)  Teii-tion !  Lieutenant  Hobson,  go  wash  your 
face.  (^Exit  Martha,  r.,  saluting.)  Commodore  Peny,  re- 
port to  the  commissary  general.  (JSxit  Mary,  r.,  sa- 
luting.) Eest  of  you,  get  ready  for  mess.  (Dandelion 
and  Dolores  start  to  go.)  Oh,  Dolores,  there's  another 
hole!     And  you've  got  to  wear  that  dress  all  summer. 

Dolores.  Couldn't  help  it,  honest!  We  was  buildin' 
a  fortress  to  take  boarders.     (^Flourishing  a  tin  sword.) 

Hope.  To  repel  boarders,  you  loony.  You're  tired. 
Dandelion. 

Dandelion.     No,  only  thinking  about  school,  that's  all. 

Hope.  Oh  !  (Sighing.)  Well,  so  was  I.  It  does  seem 
pretty  hard  to  have  to  leave,  when  it  was  all  so  lovely. 
(Dandelion  turns  her  head  away  sadly.)  Oh,  but  you  mustn't 
get  to  moping  about  it.   Probably  we  can  go  back  in  the  fall. 

DoL.  The  piece  o'  candy  my  teacher  took  away  won't 
be  any  good  then.  (^She  drops  back,  and  plays  about  the 
yard.) 


4  THE    CLANCEY   KIDS. 

Hope.  You  can't  blame  mother  for  not  wanting  us  to  go 
when  we  look  like  tramps.  And  if  we  work  hard  this 
spring,  we'll  blossom  out  when  the  time  comes,  as  proud  as 
peacocks,  in  some  brand  new  finery. 

Dan.  We  were  just  getting  to  the  best  part  of  that 
beautiful  fairy  play. 

Hope.  Midsummer  Night's  Dream  !  And  oh,  dear,  we 
were  going  to  act  it  out  at  the  exhibition,  and  now  we 
haven't  even  got  a  copy  of  our  own. 

DoL.  {coming  to  fence),  I'll  bet  yer  my  teacher'll  eat 
that  piece  o'  candy  herself  when  she  knows  I  can't  come 
back  and  get  it. 

Enter  Mrs.  Glance y,  k.  u.  e.,  with  clothes  basket. 

Hope.  You've  just  got  to  study  right  here  at  home. 
We  have  the  old  Latin  book  and  a  History,  and  an  Arith- 
metic for  you,  Dolores  (Dolores  makes  a  face),  and  I'll 
get  Jimmie  Muggs  to  tell  us  the  lessons  each  day.  Then 
maybe  we  can  go  on  with  the  class  next  fall. 

DoL.     Will  Jimmie  Muggs  get  me  my  piece  o'  candy  ? 

•     Mrs.    Clancey.     There !     See    my  fine    ladies    talking 

things  over  quietly  at  this  time  in  the  morning.     I  have 

some  very  aristocratic  work  for  you  in  the  kitchen.     Will 

you  do  me  the  honor  to  walk  in  ? 

Hope,  (loftily).  The  queen's  will  is  law !  Come  on, 
lazies. 

(^She  runs  out  R.  with  Dolores  and  Dandelion,  stopping 
to  hug  Mrs.  Clancey  as  she  passes.) 

Mrs.  C.  The  finest  children  in  seven  blocks  !  It's  a 
shame  I  can't  afford  to  let  them  have  their  fun.     (Exit  r.) 

Enter  l.,  front  stage,  Daisy,  with  a  hook,  Nathalie,  Dora, 
Rexie  and  Pearl  all  talking  in  a  rather  quarrelsome  way, 

Daisy.  But  what's  the  fun  in  a  theatre  party  if  you 
can't  have  a  box  ? 

Eexie.  Well,  who  cares  for  tooting  around  in  a  gassy- 
mobile  ! 

Nathalie.     That's  better  than  a  stupid  dance. 

Dora.  But  there's  nothing  so  positively  boresome  as  a 
horrid  whist. 


THE    CLANCEY   KIDS.  5 

Pearl.     Except  a  swell  reception  I 

(^Girls  group  B..     Enterjj.^  FjjVFF,  sloiv  1 1/.') 

Dai.  Ob,  dear,  we've  got  to  do  something.  Here  you 
are  at  my  house  for  a  holiday  house  party,  and  nobody 
wants  to  do  anything.  Mother's  too  busy  with  her  chari- 
ties and  her  dress-maker  to  make  plans  for  us,  and  we  can't 
agree  on  anything. 

(Fluff  edges  up  to  group  and  tries  to  get  their  attention.) 

Fluff.  Miss  Daisy  —  Miss  [N'at'lie  —  Miss  Dora  —  Miss 
Pearl  —  Miss  Rexie — {The  girls  pay  no  attention.)  Jes'  a 
reg'lar  tongue  party  !     {Loudbj.)     Ahem  ! 

All.      Oh  !      {Group  breaks  up).) 

Dai.     What  do  you  want  now^  Fluff  ? 

Fl.  (hacking  away).  Nothin'.  Did  yer  —  did  yer  jes' 
want  suffin  to  pass  away  the  time  ? 

Dai.     Oh,  yes,  but  what  of  it  ? 

Fl.  iSTothin'.  Jes'  thought  you  might  have  an  ironin' 
party,  Fll  git  yer  each  a  hot  flat,  an'  there's  a  whole 
week's  ^vashin'. 

Dai.  ISTonsense,  you  lazy,  saucy  tadpole!  {The  girls, 
cxcej^tDonA,  rush  at  Fluff,  taho  runs  out  l.  shrieking.)  . 

Dora  (r.).  The  idea  of  our  doing  laundry  work!  It 
positively  makes  me  ill  to  step  inside  of  a  kitchen. 

Rex.  But  you  seem  to  take  the  same  risk  in  the  dining 
room  three  times  a  day ! 

Enter  Hopeful,  r.  u.  e.,  and  climbs  up  so  as  to  look  over  the 
fence.  As  the  girls  themselves  near  the  fence,  she  peeps 
over,  and  beclzons  to  Dolores  and  Dandelion,  luho  enter 
R.  u.  E.,  a7id  clhnb  up  beside  her. 

Dai.  What  shall  we  do  ?  The  boxes  are  all  taken  for 
John  Drew,  you  won't  go  automobiling,  and  you  turn  up 
your  noses  at  dances  and  teas  and  everything  else. 

Dora  {stretching  out  wmong  the  cushions  on  the  bench).  Oh, 
it's  too  horridly  boresome  to  get  up  any  amusement.  For 
niy  part,  you  couldn't  stir  me  with  a  stick  of  dynamite. 

{As  the  girls  settle  themselves  lazily^  Dolores  picks  a  spider 
froM'  the  fence  and  throws  it  over  among  them.) 


6  THE    CLANCEY   KIBS. 

Dai.  (etc.).  Spiders!  {They  shriek  aPvd  jum,p ;  DciiA 
goes  spraivling.) 

DoL.  (to  Hopeful  and  Dandelion).  Spiders  is  better'n 
dyiiamity. 

Dora  (fussily  arranging  her  gown).  What  a  horrid  place 
a  garden  is,  anyway  !  (Business  of  looking  for  more  spider  s^ 
etc.,  with  E.EXIE  and  Pearl.) 

Dai.     Oh,  Nathalie,  when  are  your  friends  coming? 

Nat.  I  expected  a  letter  from  Janet  this  morning,  but 
it  hasn't  arrived.  I  know  she'll  be  tickled  to  pieces  to 
have  you  invite  her  down  with  us,  specially  as  you've  never 
met  her.  And  Tot  and  Veva  always  go  where  she  does,  so 
I'm  sure  they'll  all  accept. 

Dan.  (to  Hopeful  and  Dolores).    Wish  they'd  invite  us. 

Dora.  What's  your  book,  Daisy  ?  Dicky  Davis's  latest, 
I  suppose. 

Dai.  No,  it's  that  tiresome  Shakspere.  I  carry  him 
because  he  looks  so  sort  of  cultured,  you  know. 

Dora.     Not  that  dreadful  Midsummer  Night  ? 

(Hopeful  and  Dandelion  shows  signs  of  excitement.) 

Eex.  Didn't  you  get  enough  of  that  when  w^e  had  to 
spout  the  whole  thing  in  school  ?  (Rising  to  her  knees, 
down  R.J  and  reciting  in  a  high  sing-song.) 

''  The  starry  welkin  cover  thou  anon 
With  drooping  fog  as  black  as  —  as  black  as  —  er  —  " 

Hope,  (eagerly,  in  a  half  whisper).     Acheron. 

K/EX.  (turning  to  Pearl,  ivho  is  reclining  at  her  left,  and 
a  little  up  stage).     Yes,  that's  it  —  Acheron. 

Pearl.  You  were  Oberon,  weren't  you  ?  (Rising  and 
stepping  front.)  And  I  v/as  Titania.  "  Peaseblossom ! 
Cobweb  !  Moth  !  and  —  "  (with  a  half  glance  left  toward 
Daisy)  who  was  my  other  little  elf,  don't  you  remember  ? 
(Daisy  takes  no  notice.) 

Dan.  (excited).     Mustardseed  ! 

Pearl  (turning  to  Daisy).  Oh,  of  course.  How  you 
used  to  howl  on  Bottom's  speeches ! 

Dai.  (facing  r.,  raising  her  head  and  shouting), 

"  The  raging  rocks 
And  shivering  shocks 
gball  break  the  locks— -er — -'^ 


THE   CLANCEY  KIDS.  7 

Hope,  (as  hefore).     Of  prison  gates. 

Dai.  {turning  to  Nathalie,  who  has  been  talking  busily 
with  Dora  on  bench).     Why,  you  know  it  better  than  I  do. 

Nat.     /didn't  prompt  you. 

Dai.     Well,  I  didn't  suppose  you  knew  it,  Dora. 

Dora.     Of  course  I  don't. 

Dai.  (rising  in  surprise).  Then  who  said  ''  prison  gates  ?  " 
(They  spy  the  Clancey's.)  A-ha!  I  thought  so.  It's 
those  inquisitive,  meddlesome  Clancey  kids.  (Girls  rise 
and  look  over  fence.)  The  impertinent  little  barbarians  ! 
There  !  (She  throws  the  book  over  the  fence  at  them,  and 
they  fall  off  their  seat  with  a  crash.) 

Dora.     How  very  vulgar  of  them  to  look  over  at  us ! 

Dai.  Oh,  they're  only  the  Clancey  kids,  our  poor  igno- 
rant neighbors.  They  don't  know  any  better.  Come  on  ; 
if  there  isn't  anything  better  t(3  do,  let's  run  down  to  the 
orchard.     (Goes  r.) 

Eex.  Last  one  down  is  ^'  it  "  for  tag  !  (Runs  off  r.  with 
Daisy.) 

Dora.  Eexie  is  so  unconventional !  (Exit  r.  with  great 
dignity.) 

Nat.  (laughing,  starts  to  folloiv,  then  turns).  Oh,  let's 
see  what  became  of  those  funny  Clancey  kids. 

(Nathalie  and  Pearl  move  toward  fence.     Enter  Fluff 
with  letter?) 

Fl.     Miss  Nath'lie. 

Nat.     You  want  me.  Fluff  ? 

Fl.     Special  deliverance  letter.     {Handing  letter^ 

Pearl.     Maybe  it's  from  Janet. 

Fl.  (inquisitively).     Jes'  likely 's  not. 

Nat.  (opening  letter).  I  do  hope  they  can  come.  I 
know  Daisy  would  like  them  a  lot. 

Fl.  (trying  to  get  a  glimpse  of  the  letter).  Sure  she 
would. 

Pearl.     You  look  disappointed.     Can't  they  come  ? 

Fl.     Can't  dey  come  ? 

Nat.     Fluff,  do  you  know  what  a  nuisance  is  ? 

Fl.  YasSj  indeed ;  it's  washin'  handkerchers  that's  all 
frills. 

Nat.     Well,  a  new  hair-ribbon  wouldn't  be  a  nuisance, 


8  l^HE   CLANCEY   KIDg. 

would  it?  Here,  run  in  and  see  how  you  look  in  tliis. 
(Takes  off  her  hair-rihhon  and  gives  it  to  Fluff.) 

Fl.  (beami7ig).  Yo're  welcome,  Miss  Nat'lie,  yo're 
entirely  welcome  !      (Exit  quickly  waving  ribbon.) 

IS'at.  (handing  letter  to  Pearl).  IS'o,  they  can't  come  — 
that  is,  Tot  and  Veva  can't,  and  Janet  probably  won't  get 
here  till  to-morrow.  (They  sit  on  the  bench,  looking  over 
the  letter  together.  The  heads  of  the  Clancey's  slowly  appear 
over  fence.  Dolores  is  covered  with  soot  and  suddenly 
sneezes.  Nathalie  and  Pearl  start  up,  and  Clancey's 
diLck.) 

Nat.  (kneeling  on  bench^  looking  over  fence).  Why,  hello, 
aren't  you  Miss  Clancey  ? 

Hope,  (appearing).  No,  ma'am,  I'm  —  why,  I  suppose 
I  am,  only  nobody  calls  me  miss,  of  course. 

Pearl.  Which  is  the  one  that  knew  the  Shakspere  so 
well  ? 

Dan.  (appearing).     That  was  Hopeful. 

Hope.     And  you,  too.  Dandelion. 

Nat.     But  wasn't  there  another  one  ? 

DoL.  (appearing).     Yes'm.     (Sneezes.) 

Nat.     Why,  what's  the  matter  ? 

DoL.  Miss  Van  Sorrel  threw  a  book  at  us,  and  I  fell  in 
the  ash-barrel.  (Business  of  washing  her  face  with  hand- 
kerchief etc.) 

Hope,  (wistfully).  But  what  makes  you  talk  to  us  ? 
Miss  Van  Sorrel  never  takes  any  notice  of  us. 

Pearl.  Oh,  I'm  sure  she  doesn't  mean  to  be  disagree- 
able. 

Hope.     I  feel  very  sorry  for  her. 

Nat.     Sorry  ? 

Hope.  Yes.  She  ought  to  be  as  happy  and  gay  as  one 
of  these  flowers,  and  yet  she  never  seems  to  have  a  very 
good  time. 

DoL.     She's  too  stuck  up. 

Dan.     Oh,  Dolores ! 

Hope.  No,  she  isn't  really  snobbish  at  all,  I  think,  but: 
she  just  doesn't  know  how  to  enjoy  all  the  splendid  things 
she  can  have. 

Nat.  Why,  what  would  you  do  if  you  were  in  her 
place  ? 


THE    CLANCEY    KIDS.  9. 

Hope,  (climbing  on  harreV).  Oh,  everything.  Just  think 
of  having  your  lovely  friends  here  for  a  house  party,  and 
not  knowing  how  to  make  everybody  liave  a  jolly  time. 
Why,  if  1  had  such  lovely  clothes,  and  friends,  and  money, 
and  —  (She  breaks  off  suddenly.) 

Nat.     Well? 

Hope.  It's  wrong  for  me  to  talk  like  this.  I  ought  to 
be  at  work. 

Nat.     But  tell  us  what  you  would  do. 

Dan.  She  would  make  them  have  a  good  time,  if  any- 
body could. 

DoL.  If  she  had  any  money  for  peanuts,  she'd  make 
them  some  peanut  candy.  We  had  some  last  Christmas, 
when  Ma  gave  us  the  peanuts. 

Pearl.     Tell  us  what  you  would  do. 

Hope.  Oh,  I'd  have  them  all  working  on  something 
that  they  could  look  forward  to  —  as  we  were  looking  for- 
ward to  the  exhibition  at  school. 

Dan.     But  that's  all  over  now. 

Nat  and  Pearl.     All  over  ? 

DoL.     Yes'm.     Our  clothes  is  all  wore  out. 

Hope.  Hush,  Dolores  !  Yes,  if  I  could  only  get  them 
all  enthusiastic  for  some  kind  of  a  party  that  they  had  to 
work  for,  they'd  be  as  happy  as  we  are.  Look  at  this 
beautiful  garden,  that  lov^ely  great  house,  and  think  of  the 
plays  and  garden  parties  and  masquerades  you  could  have. 

Dan.     And  the  wagon-loads  of  good  things ! 

DoL.     And  candy  ! 

Hope.  And  the  fun  of  receiving  company !  (Imitating 
a  lady  receiving.)  Good  evening,  Mrs.  Vanderbilt,  you  are 
perfectly  radiant  to-night,  dear.  Ah,  Mr.  Astor,  you  are 
so  good  to  honor  us.  Why,  Miss  Gould,  how  brave  of  you 
to  venture  out  this  nasty  evening.  So  glad  you  came,  Mr. 
Depew.  Well,  well,  Mrs.  Van  Alen,  so  you  are  fresh  from 
the  triumphs  of  the  London  season.  James,  will  you  tell 
the  orchestra  to  play  something  more  lively  ?  Good  eve- 
ning, how  ve7y  delightful,  perfectly  charming,  aivfully  good 
of  you  !  —  (In  her  excitement,  she  falls  off  the  barrel.) 

Nat.  and  Pearl  (claj^ping).  Great !  Where-  did  you 
learn  it  all  ? 

Dan.  In  books,  and  from  watching  people.  Hopeful 
can  do  anything. 


10  THE    CLANCEY   KIDS. 

Hope,  {picking  herself  wp,  and  holding  up  the  hook  Daisy 
had  thrown).     Look,  look  ! 

Dan.  and  Dol.     What  is  it  ? 

Hope.     Oh,  what  do  you  suppose  ? 

Dan.     Is  it  a  chemistry  book  ? 

Hope.  Better  than  that.  It's  Midsummer  Night's 
Dream ! 

Dan.  and  Dol.     Oh-h-h  ! 

Hope,  (saddening).     But  we  can't  keep  it.     It  isn't  ours. 

Nat.  Oh,  yes,  it  is.  Daisy  threw  it  away,  and  that 
makes  it  yours.     Besides,  I  know  she  has  another  copy. 

Dan.     Just  think !     Two  copies  of  such  a  book. 

Mrs.  C.  (without).     Hopeful,  are  the  potatoes  ready  ? 

Hope.  Oh,  we  have  been  wasting  time.  (Turning 
to  Nathalie  and  Pearl.)  But  not  really  wasted,  because 
you  have  been  so  good  to  us.  (She  leans  over  and  takes 
their  hands.)  You'll  talk  to  us  again  some  time,  won't 
you  ?  Good-bye.  Yes,  mother,  coming.  (Exeunt  Hope- 
ful, Dandelion,  and  Dolores,  r.  u.  e.) 

Pearl.     What  clever  little  people  ! 

Nat.  Wonderful !  But  —  don't  tell  the  others,  for  I've 
got  a  scheme.     (Exeunt  r.,  whispering  confidentially.) 

Enter  Mademoiselle,  l.,  with  Fljjff  following. 

Fl.     Say,  Miss  Madasel  — 

Mademoiselle  (turning).  Will  you  nevair  speak  my 
name  correct  ?     Mademoiselle,  Mademoiselle. 

Fl.     Madasel,  Miss  Madasel. 

Mad.     No,  it  is  not  Miss  at  all. 

Fl.     Well,  Missus  Madasel. 

Mad.  Worse,  and  not  so  good !  It  is  Mademoiselle ; 
no  more. 

Fl.     Well,  it  don'  soun'  civ'lized,  nohow. 

Mad.  And  you  call  Flufe  civilized  ?  Flufe  ?  Ah,  it 
is  so  funny. 

Fl.     If  yo'  please'm,  ma  name's  Fluff.   . 

Mad.     I  know.     You  are  so  amusing. 

Fl.  (chuckling).  Yaas,  I  guess  yo'  right.  Say,  don^ 
you  teach  Miss  Daisy  music  ? 

Mad.     Oh,  yes,  the  piano  I  teach  her. 

Fl.     Would  you  teach  me  to  cullivate  ma  voice  ? 


THE    CLANCEY    KTt)S.  11 

Mad.     You  have  the  fine  voice,  yes  ? 
Fl.     Co'se  I  got  a  voice.    How  you  think  I  do  ma  talkin' 
an'  ma  eatin'  ? 

Mad.     Let  me  hear  one  little  song. 

(Fluff  starts  to  sing.') 

Mad.  (covering  her  ears).     Oh,  it  is  enough. 
Fl.     Sure,  (ley's  enough  of  it;  an'  it  only  needs   cuUi- 
vatin'. 

Enter  Mrs.   Clancey,  r.  u.  e. 

Mrs.  C.  Oh,  is  it  you,  Mademoiselle  ?  I  thought  some- 
body was  getting  hurted. 

Mad.  Oh,  yes,  it  was  myself.  This  Flufe,  she  is  dis- 
tressing. 

Fl.  {going  to  fence).  Say,  Mrs.  Chinceyj  yo'  is  invited 
by  us  to  come  to  a  party. 

Mrs.  C.  Sure,  ye 're  jokin'  me.  My  party  days  are 
over  —  not  but  v/hat  I  used  to  be  a  belle  in  my  day.  Deary 
me,  I  wish  my  Hopeful  could  have  half  the  advantages 
that  I  had  when  I  was  a  blooming  girl. 

F'^l.  You  must  'a'  been  just  like  me.  Miss  Daisy,  she 
says  I'm  a  bloomin'  idiot. 

Mrs.  C.  (langhing).     And  where's  the  party  ? 

Mad.  We  give  you  the  reception  right  here,  from  over 
the  fence. 

Fl.  The  pleasure  of  your  company  is  invited  at  eight 
o'clock,  E-S-P-D-Q. 

Mad.  We  get  the  evening  off,  and  we  make  a  little 
refreshments  here  in  tlie  garden.  You  can  come  ?  It  is 
select,  very  select,  just  the  three  of  us. 

Mrs.  G.  Bless  your  hearts,  you've  got  me  feeling  like 
one  of  the  girls  again.  Sure  I'll  be  with  you,  and  I'll 
surprise  your  eyes  with  the  party  gown  1  haven't  got 
out  o'  the  chest  these  ten  years. 

Enter  Hope,  r.u.e.,  carrying  bonnet. 

Hope.  Aha,  mother,  I've  caught  you  playing  the  fine 
lady  this  time.  Hello,  Fluff.  Comment  vous  portez  vous, 
Mademoiselle  ? 

Mad.  Ah,  Mademoiselle  Clancey,  vous  etes  la  belle 
grande  dame. 


12  THE    CLANOEY    KlDI^. 

Hope.  Mother,  you  need  a  walk  in  the  fresh  air.  (Mrs. 
Clancey  shows  signs  of  jpvotest?)  Sh-h !  You  know  you 
do.  You  liaven't  had  any  tea  in  the  house  for  tliree  days, 
and  I  know  you  are  growing  thin  without  it.  So  run  along 
and  get  some  this  minute.  Here's  your  bonnet.  {Fuslibig 
her  out.) 

Mrs.  C.  Do  you  really  think  I  need  it  ?  It  is  very  ex- 
travagant. (^Hurriedly,  as  if  more  eager  titan  she  will  ad- 
mit.) Well,  well,  deary,  perhaps  you're  right.  Don't  forget 
the  potatoes  (going,  and  turning  back),  and  see  that  Dolores 
doesn't  put  any  more  of  those  kittens  in  the  oven.  (Exit, 
L.  u.  e.      Crash  heard  inside  R.) 

Hope.  Oh,  Martha  Washington  has  fallen  into  the 
wood-box-again  1     (Exit  hastily  r.  u.  e.) 

Enter   l.,    Mrs.    Van     Sorrel.      She    is    haughty,    near- 
sighted, and  carries  a  lorgnette. 

Mrs.  Van  Sorrel  (looking  through  lorgnette  at  Fluff). 
Is  that  you,  darling  ? 

Fl.     Yes'm.     It's  m.e. 

Mrs.  V.  Good  gracious,  is  it  you  ?  I  took  you  for  my 
daughter.     Cook  wants  you  in  the  kitchen. 

Fl.  Do  you  think  Pd  better  go?  I  s'pose  she  just 
wants  to  ask  ma  advice.  (Exit  l.,  imitating  Mrs.  A^an 
Sorrel.) 

Mrs.  V.     Mademoiselle  ? 

Mad.     At  your  service,  madame. 

Mrs.  V.  (looking  at  a  note  hook).  You  wall  take  those 
three  hats  back  to  the  milliner,  and  tell  her  they  are 
altogether  too  plain. 

Mad.     Yes,  madame. 

Mrs.  V.  And  if  any  of  those  paupers  come  and  tell  you 
they're  starving,  give  them  one  of  those  orders  for  a  ton  of 
coal. 

Mad.     Yes,  madame. 

Mrs.  V.  And  if  Mrs.  De Willie  comes  to  see  about  my 
accepting  the  pi'esidency  of  the  new  charity  club,  tell  lier  I 
have  decided  to  let  tlieni  use  mj  name,  because  I  love 
to  sacrifice  myself  in  a  good  cause  ;  but  tell  her  I  can't  pos- 
sibly attend  any  meetings  till  I  am  through  with  the 
dressmaker. 


i:he  clancey  kids.  13 

Mad.     Yes,  madame.     And  Miss  Daisy's  old  gowns  ? 

Mrs.  V.  Oh,  yes,  put  them  with  the  rest  of  the  trash 
in  the  Salvation  Army  bag. 

Mad.  But  the  little  Clancey  girls,  they  have  to  leave 
the  school  because  they  have  no  suitable  costume. 

Mrs.  V.  Oh,  you  mustn't  bother  me  about  such  things. 
I  always  make  it  a  point  to  let  my  generosity  go  through 
the  recognized  channels  of  benevolence,  and  I  cannot  be 
expected  to  attend  to  such  trivial  details.     {Going.) 

Mad.     Yes,  madame.     And  the  young  ladies  ? 

Mrs.  V.  What  young  ladies  ?  Oh,  Daisy's  friends. 
I  had  forgotten  that  they  were  here.  Well,  you  tell  them 
that  I  am  very  much  interested  in  seeing  that  they  have  a 
delightful  visit. 

Mad.  Yes,  madame.  {Aside  ;  crossing  l.)  Ah,  she  has 
so  much  charity,  she  has  not  time  for  the  kindness. 
(Exit  L.) 

Mrs.  V.  (going  toward  fence) .  Can  it  be  ?  It  is  !  Those 
uncultured,  inconsiderate  people  in  the  next  yard  are 
flaunting  their  week's  washing  right  in  the  eyes  of  my 
daughter's  guests. 

Enter  Dolores  r.  u.  e.,  ivith  a  howl,  which  she  is  endeavor- 
ing  to  lick  out,  luhile  Martha  and  Mary  clamor  for  it, 

Dol.  You  can't  have  it !  Ma  said  it  was  my  turn  to 
lick  out  the  dish.  Oh,  look !  (They  spy  Mrs.  Van- 
Sorrel  ;  tableau  a  7Yiow.ent,  then  they  rush  out  R.  u.  e.) 

Mrs.  V.  Oh,  what  offensive  people  to  have  living  near 
one.  I  shall  plant  a  row  of  trees  along  the  fence  ;  I  can't 
have  my  daughter's  manners  spoiled  by  the  sight  of  such 
vulgar  children.     (Going.) 

Enter  Pearl  and  Nathalie,  r. 

Nat.     Oh,  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel,  can  we  see  you  a  moment  ? 

Mrs.  V.  It  is  Miss  Whittier  and  Miss  Dickory,  is  it 
not? 

Nat.  Yes.  We  want  to  ask  you  if  you  know  anything 
about  your  next  door  neighbors. 

Mrs.  V.     My  neighbors  ? 

Pearl.     Yes,  the  Clancey's,  you  know.     (Pointing.) 

Mrs.  V.     Good   gracious,  child,  of   course  not.     I   am 


14  THE    CLANCEY    KIDS. 

especially  careful  that  Daisy  lias  nothing  whatever  to  do 
v/ith  them. 

Nat.  and  Peakl  (ivith  a  pointed  look  at  each  other).    Oh  ! 

Mrs.  V.  I  hope  they  have  not  offended  you  in  any  way  ? 

Nat.     Oh,  no ;  they  seem  very  nice  people. 

Mrs.  Y.  Horrors !  my  dear,  they  are  common,  most 
common.  I  am  so  sorry  the  fence  does  not  hide  them  com- 
pletely, but  of  course  we  can  keep  away  from  this  part  of 
the  yard.  {Looks  at  her  ivatch.)  Dear,  dear,  I  shall  be 
late  for  that  luncheon.  Do  have  a  good  time,  my  dears. 
I  am  so  anxious  to  see  that  Daisy's  friends  make  them- 
selves perfectly  at  home.     Good-bye.     {Exit  hastily,  l.) 

Nat.  {laughing).  It's  easy  to  see  where  Daisy  gets  her 
pride. 

Pearl.  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel  is  such  an  exclusive  person, 
that  I'm  almost  afraid  to  try  your  scheme. 

Nat.  I'm  not.  I'm  all  the  more  determined  to  put  it 
through.  We  must  hurr}^  too.  {With  a  hasty  look  about ; 
eagerly^  I'll  run  get  the  things.  You  keep  the  girls 
away,  if  they  come  up  from  the  orchard.     {Runs  off  l.) 

Pearl  {in  excitement,  looking  offB,.).  Oh,  they're  coming 
now.  {Runs  l.)  Nathalie  !  Oh,  dear,  I  wonder  if  I  look 
excited. 

Enter  Dora,  Eexte,  Daisy,  r. 

Dai.     This  is  the  stupidest  vacation  I  ever  saw. 

Dora.  Well,  there  never  is  anything  doing  in  the 
spring. 

Rex.  Everybody  is  sick  of  the  winter  stunts,  and  the 
summer  ones  haven't  commenced. 

Dai.  Oh,  Pearl,  can't  you  think  of  a  single  thing  to  do 
to  kill  time  ? 

Pearl  {looking  nervously  off  l.).  Why  don't  you  run 
down  in  the  orchard  for  a  change  ? 

Dai.     Why,  we've  just  been  down  there,  stupid. 

Dora.  There's  nothing  there  but  horrid  trees  and  flow- 
ers, and  a  swampy  old  spring. 

Pearl  {seizing  Rexie).  Oh,  let's  go  get  a  drink  out  of 
the  spring. 

Rex.  {drawing  hack).     You'd  die  ! 

Pearl  (seizing  Dora).  Well,  let's  go  throw  stones  at 
the  frof^s. 


THE   CLANCEY   KIDS.  15 

Dora  {drawing  hack).     Oh,  frogs  ! 

Pearl  (seizing  Daisy).     We  might  climb  the  trees. 

Dai.  (drawing  back).    And  ruin  our  skirts  ?    iSTot  much  1 

Pearl.  Well,  1^11  think  up  something.  Come  on ! 
Come  on  I  (She  pushes  the  girls  out  r.  hastily,  with  anxious 
looks  over  her  shoulder,) 

Enter  !N"athalie,  l.,  with  suit-case.     She  looks  after  girls,  r. 

Nat.  (calling  at  fence).     Hopeful !     Hopeful ! 

Enter  Hopeful,  r.  u.  e. 

Hope.     Why,  do  you  want  me  ? 

Nat.  Yes.  I  have  something  simply  great  to  propose. 
You'll  help  me,  won't  you  ? 

Hope.  But  there  couldn't  be  anything  I  could  do  for 
you. 

Nat.  But  there  is,  and  Pearl  and  I  want  you  and 
Dandelion  —  (With  an  anxious  look  around.)  Pm  afraid 
they'll  come  and  catch  me. 

Hope.  (hurt).  Oh,  you're  afraid  they'll  see  you  talking 
to  me. 

Nat.  Oh,  how  could  you  think  that  ?  You'll  believe 
me  when  I  explain.  Can't  I  come  over?  (With  a  hasty 
look  about,  she  steps  on  the  bench,  hands  the  suit-case  to 
Hopeful,  and  steps  over  the  fence.) 

Nat.  There !  Now  I'll  tell  you  all  about  it.  You 
know,  I  was  expecting  two  or  three  friends,  and  they  can't 
come.     (Exeunt  r.  u.  e.,  talking.) 

Re-enter  Pearl  r.,   nervously    looking  about,  followed   im- 
patiently by  E/ExiE,  Dora  and  Daisy. 

Dai.  Why,  you  look  as  if  you  v^ere  afraid  there  were 
mice  in  the  grass. 

Pearl.  Worse  than  that ;  it's  snakes !  Oh,  look ! 
(Points  to  the  flower  bed)  Eun  for  the  orchard  —  climb 
the  trees  —  snakes  ! 

(All  except  Pearl  exit  shrieking,  r.) 

Pearl  They'll  miss  me  in  a  minute,  but  that'll  give 
me  time.     Nathalie  ! 

Enter  Nathalie,  r.  u.  e. 


16  THE   CLANCEY   KIDS. 

ISTat.  Oh,  that  Hopeful  is  a  wonder,  and  so  is  Dandy» 
You  won't  know  them.  (^Slowly  and  emphatically ^  but 
with  excitement.)  I'll  leave  a  note  for  Mrs.  Clancey,  then 
bring  the  girls  round  the  other  way  (pointing  i..),  and  as  soon 
as  we've  introduced  them,  we'll  hustle  them  to  our  rooms 
and  give  them  some  points.  Keep  your  face  straight. 
(^Exit  n.  u.  E.) 

Pearl  (calling).  Girls,  girls,  it^s  all  right.  It  wasn't  a 
snake  after  all.  (To  herself.)  But  goodness  knows  there's 
enough  doing  without  snakes  !  (Aloud.)  Come  on,  Daisy, 
it's  all  right,  I  tell  you.  Why,  what  on  earth  have  you 
been  doing  ? 

Enter  Daisy,  Rexie  and  Dora,  much  dishevelled,  r. 

Dai.     Oh,  what  a  fright  you  gave  me ! 

Dora.     Look  at  my  petticoat  —  a  perfect  wreck  ! 

Eex.  The  trees  were  covered  with  sticky  gum. 
D  — A  — E  — N! 

Pearl  (laughing).  You  poor  things.  You  look  for  all 
the  world  like  the  Clancey  kids. 

Dai.  Clancey  kids,  indeed  !  I  hardly  know  them  when 
I  see  them,  but  I  should  hope  that  you  wouldn't  compare 
any  of  us  with  such  hoodlums. 

Enter  Pluff,  l.,  running, 

Pl.  'Sense  me.  Miss  Everybody,  but  I  got  'portant 
news  from  de  front  gate. 

Dal  News  ?  Well,  I  wish  something  really  would 
happen. 

Pl.  Sumpin  has  happened,  Miss  Daisy.  You  know 
Miss  Nat'lie  ? 

Dai.     Why,  where  is  Nathalie  ? 

Pl.  She's  receivin'  some  very  swell  comp'ny  at  de  front 
gate. 

All.     Her  friends ! 

Pearl.     How  many  of  them,  Pluff  ? 

^1..     Jes'  two. 

Dai.  Must  be  Janet  and  Veva.  Nathalie  told  me  that 
Tot  couldn't  come.     Plave  any  of  you  met  them  ? 

Pearl.  Yes,  I  have,  Here  they  come.  It  is  Janet 
and  Veva. 


THE   CLANCEY   KIDS.  17 

Fl.  {bowing  l.).     This  way,  young  ladies,  this  way. 
Dai.     And  look  at   our  clothes!     (^Goes  r.  with  Dora 
and  Rexie  and  hastily  arranges  goivn^  etc.) 

Enter  l.,  Hopeful,  Dandelion  and  Nathalie.  Hopeful 
and  Dandelion  are  veiled,  and  wear  striking  wraps  and 
hats. 

Pearl  (running  forward,  shaking  hands  eagerly,  and 
trying  to  cover  laughter^.  Hello,  Janet.  Glad  to  see  you, 
Veva. 

Nat.  You  hardly  need  introductions.  (Daisy  and 
others  come  forward,)  This  is  our  hostess.  Daisy,  let  me 
present  my  dear  friends  Janet  Mayo  and  Veva  Bright. 

(^The  girls  surround  them  and  greet  them  warmly,  Dolo- 
res, Martha  and  Mary  enter  r.  u.  e.,  and  Dolores 
climbs  up  by  fence.) 

DoL.  (in  wonder).  Sh — h!  It's  our  Hopeful  and 
Dandy. 

Mar.  and  Mary.     Whee  !  what  swells  ! 

Dai.  Oh,  Janet,  dear,  you  and  Veva  are  our  last  resorts. 
There  isn't  a  single  thing  going  on,  and  we're  just  dying 
for  want  of  something  to  do. 

Dora.  It  isn't  Daisy's  fault,  you  know,  but  really  we 
are  bored  to  death.  Do  suggest  something  for  to-night 
that  isn't  perfectly  passe  already. 

Hope,  (excited  and  impetuous).  Can't  we  have  this 
pretty  garden  this  evening? 

Dai.     Certainly. 

Hope.    Well,  who's  the  most  artistic  one  in  the  party  ? 

Dai.     Bexie,  of  course. 

Hope.    And  who's  the  musician  ? 

Nat.     Dora  is. 

Hope.     And  who's  the  actress  ? 

All.    Daisy ! 

Dai.      Oh,  you  are  all  actresses.     What  is  it  all  about  ? 

Hope.  You'll  see.  If  you  really  want  some  fun  for  to- 
night, I'll  appoint  each  of  you  a  committee  of  one,  and 
you've  got  to  work  like  Trojans. 

All.  How  interesting!  Tell  us  all  about  it!  I'm  sure 
you  have  a  splendid  plan !  etc. 


18  THE   CLANCEY   KIDS. 

(Luncheon  hell  rings.     Enter  Mademoiselle,  l.) 

Mad.     Young  ladies,  the  Juncheon  is  served.     (Exit,) 

(Fluff  runs  off  l.) 

Dan.  (ecstatically).  Luncheon !  {Aside  to  Pearl.)  Oh, 
Miss  Dickory,  I'm  scared.     (Pearl  hugs  her.) 

Hope,  (shrinking;  aside  to  Nathalie).  Oh,  Miss 
Whittier,  suppose  we  disgrace  you ! 

Nat.  (reassuringly),     Nonsense  ! 

Dai.     Can  you  eat  anything  so  soon  after  travelling  ? 

Hope,  {grandiloquently).  Ah,  lead  on  to  the  banquet 
hall !  {Looking  about  the  garden?)  It's  all  a  play,  and 
I'm  in  the  forest  of  Arden.  ^^  Ay,  now  am  I  in  Arden." 
(  With  a  nervous  laugh,  and  a  wink  at  Nathalie.)  "  The 
more  fool  I." 

Dan.     Luncheon! 

Kex.     Aren't  they  jolly  ? 

Dai.      Come    on,    girls.       (Exeunt    Daisy,   Rexte   and 
Dora  l.,  starting  a  song.      Others  start  to  go,  with  laughter 
and  business.) 
•  DoL.     Hopeful !  Dandy  ! 

Hope.,  Dan.,  Pearl  and  Nat.  {with  fingers  on  lips), 
Sh-h-h !     {Exeunt  l.) 

DoL.  {shaking  her  finger  spitefully).     Well,  you  wait ! 

(Martha  and  Mary  walk  up  and  down  imitating  fine 
ladies^  while  Doloreis  gazes  after  the  girls,  in  same 
position,) 

CUETAIN. 


rnE   CLANCEY  KIDS.  19 


ACT   11. 

SCENE. —  Thesavie.     The  clothes  have  been  talzen  down  in 
the  Clancey  yard^  and  there  are  strings  of  lanterns  about, 

{The  stage  is  dark.     Enter  Kopeful,  l.,  hastily,  and  pcej^s 
over  fence.      Comes  down  stage^  c.) 

Hope.  jSTow  I  know  exactly  how  Alice  in  Wonder!  in;! 
felt  when  she  really  got  into  the  Queen's  garden  at  Lisk ! 
And  I  seem  to  liave  just  as  much  ne'-ve  as  she  had.  I 
almost  expect  the  Queen  to  appear  at  i4.ny  minute  and 
shout  — 

Enter  Dandelion,  l.     She  is  dressed  in  white, 

Dan.     Off  with  lier  head! 

Hope,  i^tcith  a  little  screarri).  Oh!  Why^j^'ou  must  be 
my  White  llabbit. 

Dan.  (yawning).  I  feel  a  lot  more  like  the  Dormouse, 
I'm  so  sleepy.  But  isn't  it  all  the  queerest  thing  that 
ever  happened  ! 

Hope.     Do  you  think  the  girls  suspect  ? 

Dan.  Not  a  bit.  Tliey'vc  been  as  happy  and  as  busy 
as  bees  ever  since  you  came.  And  did  j^ou  ever  have  such 
good  tilings  to  eat  in  your  life  ? 

Hope.  No  ;  and  never  expect  to  again.  And  look  at 
our  clothes!  But  when  the  fairy  comes  and  breaks  the 
spell  (^gesture  toward  fence),  wliat  will  become  of  us? 

Dan.  Why,  you  seem  to  be  the  fairy  yourself.  Any- 
way, you've  certairdy  enchanted  tliese  girls. 

Hope.     Shi     Here  comes  one  of  them. 

Enter  l.,  Daisy,  studying  a  paper,  ivlth  a  lighted  candle. 
Lights  half  up, 

Hope,  (tragically).  "•  Lo,  you,  here  she  comes  !  This 
iti  her  very  guise  ;  iind,  upon  my  life,  fast  asleep  !  "  Hello, 
Lady  Macbeth. 

Dai.  Hello,  Ellen  Terry  Bernhardt.  (Puts  candle  aside.) 
Oh,  do   you   know,   mi>ther   told    Flu  If   and   Llademoiselle 


20  I'HE   CLAKCEY  KIDS. 

that  they  could  have  the  evening  off,  and  so  they  can^t  be 
here  to  help  us. 

Hope.  Well,  of  course  it's  anno3dng  not  to  have  a  maid 
and  a  governess,  but  I  think  we'll  get  along  without  them. 
Where's  our  stage  manager  ? 

Doha  (outside).     Coming! 

Enter  Doha,  l.,  loaded  down  ivith  rugs  and  cushions,  etc. 

Hope.     Good  !     Now,  where  shall  we  put  the  audience  ? 

Dai.     There's  room  over  in  that  corner.      (Points  r.) 

Dora.  But  the  actors  want  that  side  for  their  entrance. 
Wouldn't  this  be  better  ?      (She  arranges  cushions  l.) 

Hope.  Yes.  And  we  must  fix  a  bank  for  Titania  here 
by  the  fence. 

Dan.  This  rug  will  do  for  the  stage,  and  the  rest  will 
be  line  to  drape  the  fence  with.     (They  all  set  to  work.) 

Enter  E-exie,  l.,  her  arms  full  of  costumes. 

Kex.     We've  finished  all  the  costumes.     They're  great. 

Hope.     But  what  shall  we  do  for  Bottom's  head? 

Dai.     That's  so.     Nobody  thought  of  that. 

Hope.  I  think  I  could  make  one  if  you  had  an  old  hat- 
box  and  some  cardboard  and  paints. 

Dan.  Oh,  I  know  where  there's  a  hat-box.  (Runs  and 
climbs  fence?) 

Dai.  (as  Dandelion  holds  up  a  hat-box).  Why,  how  did 
you  know  it  was  there  ? 

Dan.  (innocently).     Why,  I  saw  it  there  yesterday. 

All.     Yesterday ! 

Dan.  (confused).  I  mean  to-morrow — no,  this  morning, 
of  course.  Oh,  do  you  think  it's  going  to  rain  ?  (Returns 
with  hat-box.) 

Rex.  Let  me  try  to  make  the  head ;  I'm  mistress  of 
the  wardrobe. 

Dora.  I've  an  idea  I  could  do  it;  and  I'm  property 
man. 

Dai.     No,  let  me  ;  Rve  got  to  wear  it.      (Takes  it.) 

Hope,  (aside  to  Dandelion).  Oh,  Dandy,  you  nearly 
gave  us  away. 

Dan.  Wasn't  it  an  awful  break?  But  look  at  those 
girls!     You'd  never  know  them,  they're  so  waked  up. 


ICim   CLANCEY   KIDS.  §1 

Hope.  If  we  can  only  keep  them  busy,  they'll  have  a 
good  time,  and  thaVs  why  we  have  a  right  to  play  thein 
such  a  trick. 

Enter  Pearl  and  Nathalie,  l.,  dragging  in  a  table. 

Pearl.     Shall  we  bring  the  feed  in  now  ? 
Dai.     Yes,  trot  it  out.     Then  we  won't  have  to  bother 
about  it  later. 

(^They  place  table  near  fence,  c,  and  bring  in  refreshments?) 

Hope.     The  lights  are  all  ready,  aren't  they  ? 

Dai.  Oh,  yes,  and  they'll  make  the  old  garden  look 
quite  pretty,  I  think.  It's  too  bad  your  friend  Tot  Jones 
couldn't  come.     How  did  she  come  out  in  her  exams  ? 

Hope,  (nervously).  Who,  Tot  ?  Oh,  she  got  through 
everything  splendidly,  of  course. 

Dai.  What !  Why,  Nathalie  said  —  Oh,  Nathalie,  we 
were  just  talking  about  Tot's  exams. 

Nat.     Yes,  poor  thing,  she  flunked  four  out  of  five. 

Hope,  (innocently).  Why,  how  could  she  have  fibbed  so 
to  me  ? 

Dai.     Why,  I  thought  you  were  great  chums. 

Hope,  (liastily).  Certainly  v/e  are,  but — oh,  aren't  you 
nervous  about  the  play  ? 

Dai.  Dreadfully.  I  must  look  over  my  part.  (Runs 
back,)  * 

Dax.  (to  Hopeful;  aside),  I  guess  we're  square  on 
^'  awful  breaks." 

Pearl.  There,  the  table  is  ready.  How  many  of  the 
girls  do  you  think  will  come,  Daisy? 

Dai.  Haven't  any  idea.  I  sent  a  dozen  notes,  and 
telephoned  several  more. 

Rex.  And  do  you  think  they  will  all  be  masked,  in 
costume  ? 

Dai.     I  told  them  they  couldn't  come  unless  they  were. 

Dora  (surveying  the  scene,  r.).  Now  how  do  you  think 
it's  going  to  look  ? 

Dajs".     Just  like  fairy-land. 

Dai.  It  is  pretty.  Janet,  you  and  Veva  ought  to  have 
gold  medals  for  stirring  us  up  so.  This  is  the  jolliest 
vacation  I  ever  had. 


2'2  THE   CLAKCEY   KIDS. 

Dora.  It's  all  so  unique.  Now  if  we  only  had  a  higli 
hedge  to  prevent  the  neighbors  fronci  interfering ! 

Hope,  {forgetting  herself).  AYell,  pardon  me,  but  have 
you  any  reason  to  suppose  — 

Dan.  (luhirling  her  around,  and  stopping  her  mouth). 
Oh,  they  won't  bother  us,  I  guess.  Isn't  it  time  we  got  on 
our  costumes  ? 

Dai.  It  must  be.  And  we  do  so  need  to  rehearse  tliat 
awful  fairy  scene.  Come  on.  {Exit  l.,  saying  their  parts ^ 
all  hut  Hopeful,  Pearl  and  Nathalie.) 

Hope.  Oh,  Miss  Whittier,  I  nearly  disgraced  you  and 
Miss  Dickory  with  my  rudeness.  I'm  awfully  sorr}^  Per- 
haps I  ought  not  to  have  come.  After  all,  I'm  not  Janet; 
I'm  only  — 

Nat.  You  just  wait  till  you  see  how  it  all  turns  out. 
There  isn't  a  girl  here  that  doesn't  love  you  already. 
You'll  see. 

Re-enter  Dora,  l. 

Dora.  Oh,  Janet,  dear,  do  come  and  help  me  with  my 
make-up.  I  don't  know  what  we  should  have  done  with- 
out you.  {She  swings  Hopeful  impulsively  as  they  go  out 
together^  l.) 

Pearl  and  Nat.  {laughing  and  turning  to  each  other). 
Didn't  I  tell  you  so  ?     {Exeunt  l.) 

Fl.  {outside).  Hurry  up  you,  Miss  Madasel.  {Enter 
Fluff,  l.,  tvith  two  paper  hags.  Sees  the  pjreparations.) 
Oh,  Jerusalem  ! 

Enter  l..  Mademoiselle,  with  pitcher  and  glasses. 

Mad.     Whatever  is  the  ma^tter  about  you  ? 

Fl.  Did  yer  eber  see  such  gen'rous  girls  in  yer  life  ? 
{Pointing.) 

Mad.     It  is  for  us  ? 

Fl.  Sure.  Didn' yer  jes'  pass  de  young  ladies?  Yo' 
thiiui  dey  made  dese  prep'rations  for  de  cats  ? 

Mad.  {wltJb  a  long  hreatli,  and  a  look  all  around).  Oh, 
it  is  like  the  heaven. 

Fl.     Yass,  yo'  better  take  a  good  look  at  it. 

Mad.     There  is  no  need  of  our  little  refreshments. 

Fl.  Guess  not!  Set  'em  down  anywheres.  {They  set 
down  hags^  etc.) 


THE    CLANCEY   KIDS.  23 

Fl.  (calling).     Missus  Clancey. 

Enter  r.  u.  e.,  Mrs.  Clancey.      She  is  dressed  in  rather 
old-fashioned  finery y  with  a  veil, 

Mrs.  C.  Are  you  there  ?  Oh,  I  have  had  such  a  time 
getting  all  the  children  put  to  bed.  They  seemed  to  sus- 
pect something  was  up. 

Fl.     Yo'  ought  to  spank  'em  good. 

Mrs.  C.  {getting  over  fence).  And  my  Hopeful  and 
Dandy  gone  off  with  Miss  Van  Sorrel's  friends,  goodness 
knows  where. 

Mad.     Ah,  you  are  so  fine  to-night,  Madame  Clancey. 

Mrs.  C.  (curtseys  low.  Sees  joreparation).  Goodness 
me !     It's  a  swell  reception  you're  giving. 

Fl.  Co'se  it's  swell.  Miss  Madasel  and  me  b'long  to 
sassiety. 

Mad.     And  I  am  so  famished. 

Fl.  Yass,  the  eatin'  comes  first  at  this  party.  Here 
yo'  go. 

(Mrs.  Clancey  and  Mademoiselle  sit  at  table;  Fluff 
has  business  passing  refreshments.     Noise  off  r.) 

Mrs.  C.  (raising  hand).  Bless  me,  those  rapscallions 
are  wide  awake  yet.  Sh-h !  (Clanceys  giggle  off  n.) 
The  little  rascals  are  coming  out.  I'll  just  put  a  stop  to 
that.     (Starts  to  climb  fence.) 

Mad.  (seizing  her).  No,  no;  they  will  spoil  the  party. 
We  will  hide  away  from  them. 

Fl.  (taking  som.e  of  the  food).  We'll  jes'  take  a  handful 
o'  grub  an'  liike  down  in  de  orchard.  {They  hurry  Mrs. 
Clancey  out  r.,  o:nd  follow.) 

Enter  Dolores,  Martha  a7id  Mary,  in  sheets  and  pillow- 
cases, R.  u.  E. 

DoL.  I  tell  you  I  heard  one  of  the  girls  say  that  they 
was  all  going  to  be  dressed  up  in  masquerades,  like  us, 
and  they'll  never  know  who  we  are.  (They  peep  over 
fence,  all  exclaim  on  seeing  the  treat,  and  make  a  wild  dive 
over  the  fence,  squealing  in  delight.) 

DoL.  (taking  a  big  handful  of  food,  and  covfiing  front  with 
mouth  full).     Here's  where  I  gets  even  with  Hope  and 


24  THE    CLANCEY   KIDS. 

Dandy!  {Laughter  off  l.)  Sh-h-h  !  Somebody's  coming, 
and  they'll  catch  us*  Hustle  !  (Martha  and  Mary  hurry 
over  fence  and  run  off  n.  u.  e.,  Dolores  lingers  to  take  more 
food,  hears  voices  close  at  hand^  and  flies  across  stage^  exits 
R.      They  have  taken  Tnost  of  the  food  with  them.) 

Enter  Hopeful,  with  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel  dressed  as  a  maid.. 
They  drag  in  a  feather  mattress,  which  they  arrange  near 
fence  r.  c. 

Mrs.  V.  Well,  my  dear,  who  says  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel 
doesn't  make  a  good  lady's-maid  ?      (Poses.) 

Hope.  You  certainly  make  a  charming  picture.  (Laughs 
slyly.) 

Mrs.  V.  (as  Hopeful  busies  herself  arraiiging  mattress). 
And  what  a  worker  you  are,  my  dear.     I  wish  my  daugh- 
ter could  see  you  oftener,  and  catch  some  of  your  energy. 
.    Hope,  (aside).     All  she  has  to  do  is  look  over  the  fence. 

Mrs.  V.  (as  Hopeful  covers  mattress  with  rug,  etc.). 
There,  doesn't  that  old  bed  make  a  nice  couch  for  a  fairy  ? 
I  thought  it  would.  (Deliberately.)  But  don't  you  think 
it  needs  a  nice  lace  pillow  ? 

Enter  Daisy,  l. 

Dai.     Oh,  Janet,  Peaseblossom  hasn't  but  one  wing. 

Hope.  All  right,  I'll  make  another  in  a  minute.  (She 
discovers  the  remnants  of  the  feast ;  aside.)  Oh,  Dolores 
has  been  here !     (Covers  table  hastily  with  rug.) 

Mrs.  V.  (who  has  been  talking  luith  Daisy,  dow7i  l.).  Oh, 
no,  Daisy,  I  don't  think  the  Clanceys  will  have  the  pre- 
sumption to  interfere. 

Hope.     And  are  these  Clanceys  such  terrible  creatures  ? 

Dai.  Oh,  for  all  I  know,  they  may  be  just  as  good  as 
we  are.  I  don't  think  we  are  so  awfully  good,  you  know, 
but  mother  does. 

Mrs.  V.  Well,  Janet,  dear,  you  know  how  disagreeable 
it  is  to  have  to  live  next  door  to  certain  people. 

Hope,  (pointedly).     Oh,  yes,  I  know  all  about  it. 

Mrs.  V.  We  must  treat  them  with  charity,  of  course, 
but  we  couldn't  think  of  md^Wvig  friends  with  them.  Could 
we,  dear?  (She  puts  her  arm  affectionately  round  Hope- 
ful, and  they  exit  l.) 


THE   CLANCEY   KIDS.  ^5 

Dai.    (looking   after   them).      Mother    has    a   crush    on 
Janet,  too,  just  as  bad  as  the  rest  of  us.     {Exit  l.) 
Fl.  (offn.,  in  terror).     Oh-h-h  lawdy,  it's  a  ghost ! 

Enter  Dolokes  hastily,  r.    Looks  hack  frightened, 

DoL.  "Oh,  dear,  there's  something  following  me!  It's 
all  black,  like  a  little  devil !     {Hides  under  table.) 

Enter  Fluff,  r. 

Fl.     De  hull  place  is  ha'nted  I 

(Dolores  comes  out  and  falls  on  her  knees  in  front  of 
Fluff,  c.  Fluff  sees  her  and  goes  doivn  on  hands  and 
knees.) 

DoL.     Oh,  please,  if  you're  Mr.  Sa.tan  — 
Fl.     Don't  you  tech  me,  you  ghost  — 

{They  stretch  out  their  arnis^  look  up  at  each  other ^  shriek 
and  fly ;  Fluff  exits  r.,  Dolores  over  fence  and  exit 
R.  u.  E.     Enter  Mrs.  Clancey,  r.) 

Mrs.  C.  I  don't  believe  Fluff  saw  anything  at  all. 
{Sees  table  and.  couch.)  But,  my  goodness,  something  has 
been  here,  sure  enough ! 

Enter  Hopeful,  l. 

Hope.     Why,  who  on  earth  —  if  it  isn't  my  mother  ! 

Mrs.  C.     Hopeful ! 

Hope,  Mother  !  How  could  you  eat  up  all  our  refresh- 
ments ? 

Mrs.  C.     I ! 

Hope.  I  never  would  have  suspected  you  of  such  a 
trick. 

Mrs.  C.     Now,  why  on  earth  — 

Hope.  That's  just  what  I  want  to  know.  Pickles  and 
peppermints  !     Here  comes  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel ! 

Mrs.  C.    Oh,  let  me  hide  somewhere  ! 

Hope.     ISTo,  she  sees  us.     I'll  fix  it. 

Enter  l.,  Mrs.  Vak  Sorrel. 

Hope,  {going  towards  her,  pulling  the  reluctant  Mrs. 
Clancey).     Here  is  one  of  the  guests  who  just  arrived. 


26  'THE   CLANCEY   KtDS. 

But  of  course  you  can't  recognize  her  in  this  disguise. 
You  may  call  her  —  Mrs.  Smith.  (Mrs. Van  Sorrel  shakes 
hands  cordially  with  Mrs.  Clancey  ;  Hopeful  runs  l.) 
Oh,  masquerades  are  such  fun !     {Exit  l.,  laughing.^ 

Enter  cautiously^  r.,  Mademoiselle  and  Fluff. 

Mrs.  V.  YeSj  a  masquerade  gives  a  person  a  chance  to 
wear  such  becoming  costumes.  You  look  so  well,  my  dear, 
in  those  old-fashioned  clothes. 

Mrs.  C.  {aside).     Old-fashioned  clothes  indeed  I 

Mrs.  V.  We  have  arranged  a  play  here  in  the  garden 
for  part  of  the  entertainment,  3^ou  know. 

Mrs.  C.  That'll  be  lovely.  But  you  can't  fool  me  with 
your  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel.  Not  with  that  pretty  Irish  face  of 
yours.  {Chucks  her  under  chin.)  Aren't  you  the  new 
second  girl  ? 

Mrs.  V.  {shocked  for  a  moment,  then  laughing).  Why, 
of  course  I  am,  just  for  to-night.  Just  the  same  as  you 
are  a  nice  old  wash-lady  !     Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 

Mrs.  C.  {aside).  Wash-lady !  {Sourly.)  Ha,  ha,  ha ! 
{Exeunt  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel  and  Mrs.  Clancey,  l., 
laughing.) 

Mad.  {coming  c).  Did  you  hear?  Masquerade,  play, 
second  girl ! 

El.  I  tell  yo'  de  hull  place  is  ha'nted.  Didn't  I  see 
de  ghost  ? 

Mad.  {spying  the  table).  Ah,  he  has  eaten  up  the  re- 
freshments ! 

Fl.  {stumbling  headlong  over  the  couch).  Yass ;  and  he 
must  ha'  planned  on  sleepin'  here  all  night. 

Laughter  heard  off  l. 

Mad.  Listen  !  They  are  all  coming !  It  is  the  play. 
We  can  see  it  from  that  tree  in  the  orchard.  {Pointing  up 
and  offB,.) 

Fl.  {picking  up  the  pitcher^  etc.,  they  had  left).  Well,  I 
guess  our  grub'll  come  in  handy  after  all.  (Exeunt  r., 
stealthily.) 

Enter  Dolores,  Martha  and  Mary,  r.  u.  e.,  and  appear 
at  fence. 


THE    CLANUEY    XiDS.  27 

DoL.  {p.fter  a  look  around),  No,  I  dassent  go  to  the 
party,  now  we^ve  eaten  up  all  the  refreshments.  We  c'u 
see  the  fun  from  here.  {Laughter  off  h.)  Sh-h-h  !  (They 
duck.) 

Enter,  l.,  Dandelion,  Daisy,  Eexie,  Pearl,  Dora  and 
Nathalie,  excited,  in  costume.  They  speak  in  nervous 
half-whispers. 

Dai.  Yes,  we  all  enter  from  over  on  this  side. 
(Points  R.) 

Nat.     But  where's  Hope  —  er,  I  mean  Janet  ? 

Pearl.  Oh,  she's  not  ready.  Besides,  she  enters  on 
that  side.     (^Points  l.) 

Eex.   Oh,  I  can't  think  of  a  single  word  of  my  speech. 

Dora.     Do  my  wings  hang  evenly  ? 

Dai.  Girls,  do  you  think  we'll  live  through  it  ?  (Busi- 
ness of  stag e- fright,  etc^ 

Nat.  Well,  I  guess  Ave  can  stand  it  if  the  audience  can. 
How  does  that  dance  go  ?  (They  try  dance  steps.  Voices 
heard  off  j^.) 

Dai.     Here  they  come»     All  ready !     (All  excited  exit  r.) 

Enter  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel,  ushering  in  Mrs.  Clancey  and 
guests.  The  latter  are  masked  and  in  fancy-dress.  As 
they  enter  laughing  and  talking^  the  lights  are  thrown  on 
in  the  lanterns^  and  guests  pause  with  exclamations  of 
admiration.  If  electric  lights  are  not  available^  the 
lanterns  or  other  illumination  may  be  attended  to  by 
Daisy,  etc.,  in  business  immediately  preceding.  Soft 
music  L. 

Mrs.  v.  Yes,  this  is  the  orchestra  circle.  (Points  l. 
front.)  Are  there  cushions  enough  ?  (Guests  arrange 
themselves  on  ground?) 

Mrs.  C.  (looking  stealthily  about ;  aside).  If  I  only  felt 
sure  the  kids  were  safe  in  bed ! 

DoL.  (poking  her  head  up  over  fence  and  looking  about). 
Ain't  this  a  picnic !  (Sees  Mrs.  Ci:^ancey  arranging  goiun 
as  she  sits.)  Aw,  will  yer  get  outer  ma  ?  (Clanceys 
a2)pear.) 

Mrs.  V.  There  (Clancfa^:~5  duck),  are  you  all  perfoctl3'' 
Ooinf  ortable  ?    And  can  you  all  see  the  stage  ?    Well^  with 


28  THE    CLANCEY    KIDS. 

your  kind  attention,  as  they  say  at  the  vaudeville,  we  shall 
present  for  the  first  number  on  our  program  this  evening, 
a  little  scene  arranged  from  Midsummer  Nighi's  Dream  ; 
the  company  being  selected  from  the  most  famous  artists 
of  England  and  America.  (^Applause  from  guests,)  And 
just  between  ourselves,  we  won't  blame  3^ou  if  you  take  a 
quiet  nap  while  it  is  going  on.  Let  the  trumpet  sound  the 
approach  of  the  fairies !     (Sits.) 

(Trumijet,  Enter  r.,  Pearl  as  Tltania  lulth  Nathalie, 
Dora  and  Dandelio^t  as  fairies.  They  dance  about 
Pearl,  luho  reclines  on  coucJl,) 

Mrs.  y.  (in  stage  whisper^     Poor  things,  they've  only 
had  one  rehearsal. 

Pearl.     "  Come,  now  a  roundel  and  a  fairy  song ; 

Then,  for  the  third  part  of  a  minute,  hence : 
Sing  me  now  asleep.^'     (Site  flops  down,) 

(The  fairies  pose  for  a  dance^  unsteadily.,  then  look  off  left 
uneasily.) 

Pearl  (in  a  whisper,  raising  head  a  little^     Why  don't 
they  play  ? 

Mrs.  Y.     Dear  me,  they  asked  me  to  prompt  them. 
'Nat.  (in  stage-ivhisj^er,  rup^ning  L.').     Orchestra,  go  ahead  ! 

(Music.  Fairies  dance  a  few  steps  about  Pearl,  then  re- 
cline about  her.  Song.  Pearl  falls  asleep  and  snores, 
and  fairies  trip  off  R.) 

DoL.  (appearing).     Ain't  it  great !      (T>ucks.) 

Enter  r.,  Kexie  as  Oberon,  and  approaches  Pearl. 

Mrs.  Y.  (in  loud  whisper).     This  is  Oberon,  you  know, 
trying  to  get  a  divorce  from  Titania. 

Rex.    (in   high  sing-song,  squeezing    lemon   on    Pearl's 
eyes). 

^'  What  thou  sae'st  when  thou  dost  wake. 
Do  it  for  thy  true-love  take  ; 
When  thou  wak'st,  it  is  thy  dear ; 
Wake   when    some   vile   thing   is   near,''     (Makes 
hypnotic  gestures  ;  exit  R.) 


THE    CLANCEY    KIDS.  29 

DoL,  (behind  fejice).     Stop  shoviri'  ! 

Mrs.  V.  {fumbles  imges  noisily  ;  in  stage-whisper).  Enter 
Bottom !  1  told  them  they  couldn't  get  their  costumes 
changed  in  time.  (Looks  r.  anxiously^  rises  and  runs  across 
R.)     Enter  Bottom  !     Enter  Bottom  ! 

Dai.  (offn.).     Oh,  in  a  minute.     You  go  sit  still. 

Mrs.  V.  (i^etitrning).  It's  all  right.  She's  coming. 
(Sits.) 

Enter  r.,  Daisy  as  Bottom,  Nathalie  and  Dora  as  Snout 
and  Quince.      Giggles  from  behind  fence. 

El.  (offn).     ¥7ell,  ain't  they  ridicerlous ! 

Dai.  (pompously).     ''  Are  we  all  met  ?  " 

Dora  (ivho  speaks  throughout  in  her  usual  society  man- 
ner).    "  Pat,  pat." 

Mrs.  C.     Sure  they're  Irisli ! 

Dora.  ^'And  here's  a  marvelous  convenient  place  for 
our  rehearsal." 

Dai.  '^  There  are  things  in  this  comedy  that  will  never 
please.  Eirst,  Pyramus  must  draw  a  sword  to  kill  him- 
self;  which  the  ladies  cannot  abide.'' 

Nat.  (in  a  little  high  voice).  '^  I  believe  we  must  leave 
the  killing  out,  when  all  is  done." 

Dai.  '^  Not  a  whit;  write  me  a  prologue;  and  let  the 
prologue  seem  to  say,  we  will  do  no  harm  with  our  swords 
and  that  Pyramus  is  not  killed  indeed  ;  and  that  I,  Pyramus, 
am  not  Pyramus,  but  "  —  er —  (Aside  to  Nathalie.)  Who 
am  I,  anyway  ?  —  oh,  yes  !  (Aloud.)  ''  Bottom  the 
weaver." 

Nat.     '^  Will  not  the  ladies  be  afeard  of  the  lion?  " 

DoL.     Oh,  it's  going  to  be  a  menagerie  ! 

Dai.  "  A  lion  among  ladies  is  a  most  dreadful  thing. 
Nay,  you  must  name  his  name,  and  half  his  face  must  be 
seen  through  the  lion's  neck.  And  there  indeed  let  him 
tell  them  plainly  he  is"  —  er  —  (Louder.)  And  tell  them 
plainly  he  is  — 

Mrs.  V.  (being  vigorously  nudged  by  Nathalie).  Oh  ! 
(Hastily  hunting  for  the  place.)      Euter  Puck,  T  think. 

Nat.  (in  stage  whisper).     No,  no  ;  go  right  on,  Dora. 

Dora.  /'  Then  we  must  have  a  wall ;  for  P^^ramus  and 
Thigbe  did  talk  through  the  chink  of  a  wall" 


'60  THE    CLANCEY    KIDS. 

Dai.  "  Some  man  or  other  must  present  Wall ;  and  let 
him  hold  his  fingers  thus,  and  through  the  cranny  shall 
Py ramus  and  Thisbe  whisper." 

{They  ]r)ut  their  heads  together  over  their  parts.  Enter 
Hopeful,  l.,  as  Fuck,  with  some  striking  costume. 
Chorus  of  Oh^s  and  Ah's.      She  dances  in  to  soft  music?) 

Hope.     '^  What  hempen  home-spuns  have  we  here, 
So  near  the  cradle  of  the  fairy  queen  ?  " 
Dat.    (talking    to    Dora    through   Nathalie's  fingers). 
*^  Thisbe,  the  flowers  of  odious  savours  sweet," — 
Dora.     ''  Odours,  odours  !  '^ 
Dai.     ^'  Odours  savours  sweet ; 

So  hath  thy  breath,  my  dearest  Thisbe  dear. 
But  hark  !  a  voice,  stay  thou  but  here  awhile. 
And  by  and  by  I  will  to  thee  appear."      (Starts 
to  go  out  R.,  but  humps  into  Kathalie's  fingers,  which  she 
still  holds  out  rigidly.     Daisy  rubs  forehead,  then  seizing 
fingersj  moves  them  slowly  down  until  she  can  step  over  them, 
and  exit  R.  pompously.     Exit  Hopeful,  following  stealthily.) 
Dora.     "  Must  I  speak  now  ?  " 

Nat.  "Ay,  marry,  must  you  ;  for  you  must  understand 
he  goes  but  to  see  a  voice  that  he  heard,  and  is  to  come 
again." 

Dora.  ^'  Most  radiant  Pyramus,  most  lily-white  of 
hue,"  — 

Ite-entcr  Hopeful  and  Daisy,  ivith  ass^s  head  made  out  of 

hat-box. 

Dat.     ^'  If  I  were  fair,  Thisbe,"  — 

Nat.  and  Dora.  '^  0  monstrous  !  0  strange  !  we  are 
haunted.     Help!" 

(Music  ;  they  run  out  R.,  with  funny  little  squeals.) 

Hope.     '-I'll  follow  you,  I'll  lead  you  about  a  round  ; 

Sometimes  ahorse  I'll  be,  sometimes  a  hound." 
(Follows  them  out  R.  dancing^ 
Mrs.   C.   {whispering    to    Mrs.  Van  Sorrel).     Who    is 
the  lady  with  the  hat-box  on  her  head  ? 

Mrs.  V.  Why,  that's  Bottom.  He's  bewitched,  you 
}^no\Y 


THE  cLA^^c^Y  iciDS.  81 

Mrs.  C.  Sure,  I.  think  that's  what's  the  matter  with  me. 
{Feels  of  her  earSy  as  if  they  luere  grown  long  like  Bottom'' s.) 

Dai.  (^who  has  been  standing  l.  c, perplexed).  '^  Why  do 
they  run  away  ?  This  is  to  make  an  ass  of  me.  I  will 
sing,  that  they  shall  hear  I  am  not  afraid.  (Sings).  '  The 
ousel  cock  so  black  of  hue,  with  orange-tawny  bill.'  " 

Pearl  (aiuaking).  *'  What  angel  wakes  me  from  my 
flowery  bed  ?  I  pray  thee,  gentle  mortal,  sing  again ; 
mine  ear  is  much  enamoured  of  thy  note  ;  so  is  mine  eye 
enthralled  to  thy  shape."  (Stretching  arms  toward  Daisy.) 
''  I'll  give  thee  fairies  to  attend  on  thee.  Peaseblossom  ! 
Cobweb  !     Mustardseed  !  "     (Rises  and  gestures  r.) 

Enter   Nathalie,    Dan  del  ton    and   Dora    as  fairies^  to 

music . 

DoL.     Oh,  ain't  Dandy  a  sight ! 

Mrs.  C.  (aside,  horrified).  Dolores  !  (She  rises  agitated, 
and  backs  over  extreme  l.  front?) 

Nat.,  Dora  and  T) a^ .  {after  a  few  dance  steps).  ^' Hail, 
mortal,  hail!"  (Dandelion  yawns^  and  comes  in  with  a 
"  Hail'''  too  late) 

Pearl  (drawing  Daisy  down  on  couch).  ^'  Come,  sit 
thee  down  upon  this  flowery  bed." 

Dai.  (to  Dandelion).  •'  Scratch  my  head,  Peaseblossom." 
(Dandelion,  business  of  scratching  head,  etc.) 

Pearl.     "  Say,  sweet  love,  what  thou  desirest  to  eat." 

Dai.  '•'  Truly,  I  could  munch  your  good  dry  oats.  But 
(yawns)!  have  an  exposition  of  sleep  come  upon  me." 

Pearl.  ^' Sleep  thou.  Fairies  begone!"  (Exeunt 
Nathalie,  Dandelion  and  Dora,  r.)  ^^Oh,  how  I  dote  on 
thee."     (They  sleep  in  a  funny  attitude.) 

Enter  Eexie,  r. 

Rex.  ''  I  w^onder  if  Titania  be  awaked.  Here  comes 
my  messenger.  (Enter  Hopeful,  r.,  dancing  to  music.) 
How  now,  mad  spirit!  " 

Hope.  '^  My  mistress  with  a  monster  is  in  love.  Titania 
w^aked,  and  straightway  loved  an  ass." 

Rex.  '*'  Her  dotage  now  I  do  begin  to'  pity.  I  will  re- 
lease the   fairy  queen.     (With  hypnotic  gestures.)     Be  as 


32  THE   CLANCEY   KIDS. 

thou  wast  wont  to  be ;  see  as  thou  wast  wont  to  see.  Now, 
my  Titania,  wake  you,  my  sweet  queen."     (Slaps  her.) 

Pearl  (awaking).  "My  Oberon,  what  visions  have  I 
seen.     Methought  I  was  enamoured  of  an  ass.^' 

Eex.  "  There  lies  your  love.  (To  Hopeful.)  Take 
off  this  head.'^ 

Pearl  (rising).     Music  ho  !     (Music  ;  fairies  enter.) 

Mrs.  C.  (aside).  Dear,  dear,  I  wish  I  was  where  I  could 
spank  Dolores. 

Hope,  (taking  off  ass^s  head).  "•  ISTow,  when  thou  wakest, 
with  thine  own  fooPs  eyes  peep.''  (She  stands  r.  c,  rest 
grouped  extreme  r.  and  l.,  except  Daisy.  Hopeful  makes 
a  flourish^  and  throws  head  over  fence.  Horrified  squeals 
from  the  Clanceys.  Martha  and  Mary  seen  running  off 
l.  u.  e.      Confusion) 

Dai.  (jumping  up).  Just  as  I  expected !  (Leans  over 
fence^  and  grabs  Dolores,  who  is  just  escaping)  Come  out 
of  that,  you  little  rascal !  (Pulls  her  over  the  fence.  Mrs. 
Van  Sorrel  a7id  guests  rise.  Mrs.  Clancey  is  horrified. 
Hopeful  comes  r.  front  with  Dandelion,  and  Nathalie 
and  Pearl  put  their  arms  around  them.) 

Dai.  (removing  the  pillow-case  from  Dolores's  face). 
There  ! 

Hope,  (who  has  hastily  whispered  in  Nathalie's  ear ; 
with  a  wink  at  her).  Why,  girls,  if  it  isn't  Tot  Jones  ! 
(Runs  to  her  and  throws  her  aryns  around  her.)  How  in 
the  world  did  you  get  here  ? 

DoL.  (in  tears).     They  pulled  me  over  the  fence. 

Nat.  (falling  in  with  the  joke^  and  running  to  her). 
Why,  Tot,  I  thought  you  couldn't  come. 

Pearl  (running  to  her).  You've  played  us  a  great  trick! 

Dan.  (same).     Hello,  Tot !     What  a  nice  surprise  ! 

Mrs.  C.  (in  amazement).  Sure,  the  whole  of  us  is  be- 
witched ! 

(A  crash  and  breaking  of  crockery  heard,  r.) 

Fl.  (offB,.).     Oh,  I'm  cert'nly  plum  killed  I 

(All  rush  over  r.    Enter  l.,  Martha  and  Mary,  unnoticed.) 

Mar.  (as  they  hastily  look  around).  I  guess  we  kin 
coine  if  the  other  kids  kin.     (They  mix  in  the  crowd,  r.^ 


THE    CLANCEY    KIDS.  33 

Enter  Fluff,  k.,  luith  reviains  of  a  pitcher^  and  a  half'* 
eaten  sandwich.  Mademoiselle  follows^  hanging  her 
head. 

Fl.  Me  and  Madasel  was  liavin'  a  party,  an'  the  branch 
I  was  on  done  busted  ! 

Hope.  Never  mind.  The  play  was  all  over,  anyway. 
So  now  let's  all  unmask  and  have  a  jolly  dance. 

Dai.  {discovering  the  emytij  table).  But,  oh  —  that 
Fluff  has  eaten  up  all  our  refreshments. 

Fl.  Yo'  mistaken,  Miss  Daisy,  honest.  'Twas  a  ghost. 
An'  Jerusalem,  dere  it  is  now,  an'  deres  three  of  'em ! 
{Pointing  up  c,  where  Dolores,  Martha  and  Mary  stand.) 
Oh-h-h  !  {She  runs  to  l.,  to  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel,  and  falls  on 
her  knees.) 

Mrs.  Y.  (raising  her).  Nonsense,  what  a  goose  you  are, 
Fluff.  Never  mind  about  the  supper,  Daisy.  Mademoiselle 
will  arrange  for  another  at  once.  {Exit  Mademoiselle, 
L.)  I'm  sure  we've  all  had  such  a  jolly  entertainment 
that  nobody  minds  these  little  accidents.  {Chorus  of  assent 
from  guests.)  And  we  owe  it  all  to  this  sweet  little  fairy 
Puck.  {Putting  her  arms  around  Hopeful.)  Now  for 
the  surprises.  Stand  in  a  row,  girls,  and  all  unmask. 
{To  Mrs.  Clancey.)  Let  me  help  you  with  your  veil, 
my  dear. 

{Guests  unmask,  standing  in  group  r.  c,  omd  are  drawn  over 
R.  hy  Dora,  etc.,  with  laughter.  Mrs.  Yan  Sorrel  un- 
veils Mrs.  Clancey,  l.,  and  gazes  at  her  in  surprise 
through  lorgnette?) 

Dai.  {to  Martha  and  Mary,  c).  Come  on,  it's  your 
turn.  {She  takes  ojf  their  pilloiv-cases^  laughing^  then  starts 
hack  in  surprise.) 

Hope,  {down  r.  ;  araazed).     The  kids  ! 

(Mrs.  Clancey  runs  c,  stands  a  moment  in  amazement.) 

Mrs.  C.  Why,  you  rapscallions  !  (Martha  and  Mary 
have  been  hanging  their  heads  and  clinging  together,  but  on 
hearing  Mrs.  Clancey,  they  look  up  in  terror^  and  make  a 
bee  line  out  l.,  ivith  Mrs.  Clancey  pursuing.) 

Fl.  {taking  c,  and  gazing  after  them).  Those  mus'  ha' 
been  what  skeered  us  ! 


34  THE   CLANCEY   KIDS. 

Dai.  (and  others).     The  Clancey  kids  ! 

Nat.  (aside;  wilting  w^A  Pearl,  down  l.).  All  up 
now ! 

DoL.  (stepphig  toiuard  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel).  Yes'ra,  we'se 
awful  sorry,  but  we  was  mad  at  Hopeful  and  Dandy. 
(Pointing,     Exclamations.) 

Nat.  (running  l.  to  Mrs.  Van  Sorrel).  Oh,  Mrs.  Van 
Sorrel,  it's  all  a  joke,  and  I'm  responsible. 

Pearl  (same).     And  I. 

Dan.  (same).     And  I. 

Hope.     But  I'm  the  most  to  blame.     Let  me  explain. 

Mrs.  V.     You,  my  dear  ? 

Dai.    Why,  of  course,  it's  all  right,  if  Janet  planned  it. 

Mrs.  V.  Of  course,  my  dear,  I  think  it's  interesting 
and  funny,  even  if  I  seem  to  be  the  victim. 

Hope.     But  the  trouble  is,  I'm  not  Janet. 

Dan.    And  I'm  not  Veva. 

DoL.  (proudly).  And  I  ain't  nobody  but  Dolores 
Clancey. 

Pearl  and  Nat.     We  did  it  just  for  a  lark. 

Dai.  (puzzled).     And  you're  the  Clancey  kids  ?     (Pause, 
Impetuously.)     Well,  you're  all  right.     (Throius  her  arms 
around  Hopeful's  neck,  and  hugs  Dandelion   and  Dol- 
ores.) 
Enter   Mrs.     Clancey,    l.    u.    e.,    holding    the   squealing 

Martha   and  Mary   by  the  ears.     Rest    have   grouped 

L.  and  R. 

Dai.  (calling).  Oh,  Mrs.  Clancey,  won't  you  all  come 
back  for  the  rest  of  the  party  ? 

Martha  and  Mary.  Yes,  yes  !  (They  break  away  and 
scramble  over  fence.  Mrs.  Clancey  comes  to  fence  l.,  where 
Fluff  stands.     Mademoiselle  re-enters  and  joins  them.) 

Mrs.  V.  (puzzled,  but.  not  indignant).  But,  Daisy,  my 
dear,  I  don't  understand  — 

Dai.  (half  beseeching,  half-laughi7ig).  But  /  do,  and 
it's  my  party,  you  know.     Music  ho ! 

(Music  strikes  up,  softly  at  first.  General  hilarity,  as  the 
girls  bring  the  table  forward  and  make  Hopeful  stand 
upon  it,  while  the  others  form  a  dance  about  her,  r.  c. 
Fluff   aiid  Mademoiselle   dance   up   l.     Mrs.   Van 


THE    CLANCEY   KIDS.  35 

Sorrel,  down  l.  c,  watches  the  scene  a  moment  in  deep 
perplexity.      Then  a  smile  breaks  over  her  face,) 

Mrs.  V.  {slowly  and  thoughtfully),  I  wonder  if  those 
clever  Clancey  kids  would  let  me  send  them  to  my  daugh- 
ter's school. 

(Music  louder.     Mrs.  Van   Sorrel    begins   to  take  a  few 
dance  steps,) 

CURTAIN. 


THE  CAMP-FIRE  GIRLS 

A  Comedy  in  Four  Acts 

By  Walter  Ben  Hare 

Fifteen  female  characters  and  seven  children  who  do  not  speak.  Scenery, 
one  interior  and  two  exteriors;  costumes  modern  and  Indian.  Plays  a  full 
evening.  An  admirable  vehicle  for  spreading  the  principles  of  this  help- 
ful order  as  well  as  an  interesting  and  effective  entertainment  suitable  for 
any  occasion.  Peggy  Malone,  the  little  drudge,  is  a  part  of  enormous 
sympathy ;  Zingara,  the  gypsy,  very  picturesque  and  dramatic ;  and 
Mollie  Mealy,  the  old  maid,  a  scream.  Very  strongly  recommended. 
Pricey  2^  cents 

CHARACTERS 
Peggy  Malone,  a  little  drudge, 
Mrs.  Bacon,  a  boarding-house  keeper. 
Beulah  Marie,  her  daughter ^  aged  seventeen. 
Miss  Henrietta  Dash,  a  newspaper  reporter. 
Miss  Mollie  Mealy,  an  old  maid,  so  sentimental. 
Miss  Lee,  the  guardian  of  the  camp. 
Zingara,  a  wandering  gypsy, 
Neeta,  a  little  gypsy  song-bird. 
Nell  Mason 


Margery  Gilmore 
Betty  Thurston 
Nan  Lester 
Melissa  Hicks 
Doris  Gray 
Phyllis  Marvin 


Camp-Fire  Girls. 


SYNOPSIS  FOR  PROGRAMMES 

Act  I.  Christmas  day  in  a  boarding-house.  The  poor  little 
drudge.     Beulah  entertains  the  camp.     Peggy  dreams. 

Act  n.     The  dream.     The  Princess  Pocahontas. 

Act  HL    Same  as  Act  L    The  awakening.    Her  cup  of  misery. 

Act  IV.  A  gypsy  camp.  The  Carnegie  medal.  Happiness 
at  last. 


OUR  BOYS 

A  Comedy  in  Three  Acts 

By  H,  y,  Byron 

A  new  edition  of  this  evergreen  comedy,  reprinted  from  an  acting  copy 

and  containing  all  the  "  gags  "  and  stage  business  employed  in  professional 

performances  of  the  piece,  arranged  for  amateur  production  by  Frank  W. 

Fowle,  following  the   traditions  of  the  Boston  Museum.     Starting  with  a 

run  of  more  than  1,500  nights  in  its  original  production,  no  existing  play 

has  had  a  larger  or  more  universal  success  in  the  theatre  than  this.     Very 

easy  to  produce  and  a  sure  hit  in  amateur  theatricals. 

Frice,  ij  cents 


THE  BIG  DRUM 

A  Comedy  in  Four  Acts 
By  Arthur  Pinero 
Twelve   males,  five  females.     Costumes,   modern ;  scenery,  three   in- 
teriors.    Plays  a  full  evening.     Acting  rights  strictly   reserved  for  the 
present.     Sir  Arthur  Pinero's  latest  play,  not  yet  produced  in  this  country. 
The  text   is  here  offered  for  reading  only,  but  rights  to  produce  by  ama- 
teurs may  be  given  at  any  time  after  the  American  production,     A  very 
powerful  play  upon  a  subject  of  universal  interest. 
Price ^  JO  cents 

CHARACTERS 

Philip  Mackworth. 

Sir  Randle  Filson,  Knt. 

Bertram  Filson,  his  son. 

Sir  Timothy  Barradell,  Bart. 

Robert  Roope. 

COLLINGHAM  GREEN. 

Leonard  Westrip,  Sir  Randle' s  secretary, 

Alfred  Dunning,  of  Sillitoe  and  Dunning  s  Private  Detective 

Agency* 
NoYES,  Mr,  Roope  s  servant. 
Underwood,  servant  at  Sir  Randle  s. 
John,  Mr.  Mackworth' s  servant, 
A  Waiter. 

OtTOLINE  DE  CHAUMlfi,  COMTESSE  DE  CHAUMlf ,  nic  FiLSON. 

Lady  Filson. 

Hon.  Mrs.  Godfrey  Anslow. 

Mrs.  Walter  Quebec. 

Miss  Tracer,  Lady  Filson  s  secretary. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act  L — Robert  Roope* s  flat  in  South  Audley  Street.    June. 
Act   IL — Morning-room    at   Sir  Randle    Filson' s,   Ennismore 

Gardens.     The  next  day. 
Act  in. — Mackworth's  Chambers,  Gray's  Inn.     November. 
Act  IV. — The  same  place.     The  following  morning. 

THE  NEW  SCHOOL-MA'AM 

A  Sketch  in  One  Act 
By  G.  H.  Mc Arthur 
Two  males,  one  female.  Costumes,  modern  and  "  rube  "  ;  scenery,  an 
interior,  not  important.  Plays  twenty  minutes.  Gladys  de  Haven,  an 
actress  stranded  in  a  small  town,  applies  for  the  position  of  "  school- 
ma'am  "  to  get  money  enough  to  reach  New  York.  She  easily  prevails 
over  the  susceptibiUties  of  Silas  Wetherbee  and  Hank  Pettingill,  the  two 
members  of  the  "  Committee,"  borrows  ten  dollars  of  each  of  them  and 
skips,  leaving  them  considerably  educated  by  her  process.  Lively  and 
fanny.  Price,  ij  cents 


THE  BOY  SCOUTS 

A  Play  for  Boys  in  Three  Acts 

By  Walter  Ben  Hare 

Twenty  males.  Scenery,  unimportant ;  costumes,  scout  and  modera 
Plays  two  hours.  Worth  refuses  to  vote  for  Tony  as  a  new  scout  because 
the  latter  is  poor,  but  Tony  shows  in  the  end  that  he  is  a  true  scout  and 
wins  his  election.  This  simple  motive  underlies  lots  of  characteristic  fun 
and  stunts,  and  offers  as  a  whole  a  very  vigorous  and  sympathetic  picture 
of  the  Boy  Scout  practices,  motives,  and  ideals.  Strongly  recommended. 
Price^  2J  cents 

CHARACTERS 

Stewart  Nipper,  known  as  Nip. 

Fred  Tuck,  knowji  as  Tuck. 

Dick  Randolph,  the  patrol  leader, 

Worthington  Leonard,  a  rich  boy. 

Tony  Ardis,  a  poor  boy. 

Jakie  Stein,  with  business  instincts. 

Chubby  Childs,  who  don  t  care  if  he  is  fat. 

Watermelon  Jackson,  a  lazy  coon. 

Mrs.  Watermelon  Jackson,  and  her  seven  little  coons.     {May  bi 

omitted. ) 
LiPPY  Scudder,  who  thinks  he's  a  hero. 
Bub  Waldron,  going  on  seven. 
Jack  Hall,  assistant  patrol  leader. 
Plupy  Higgins,  who  likes  to  study. 
Lee  Waldron,  ^ome  athlete. 
Tom  Red  WAV,  who  plays  the  piano. 
Shorty,  Harry,  Charley,  Will  and  Frank,  other  Boy  Scouts. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act  L— The  meeting  of  the  Bov  Scouts  of  America.     Nip  and 
Tuck. 
Act  n. — A  rehearsal  in  the  gym.     The  stunts  of  the  Scouts. 
Act  HL — Same  as  Act  L     Swearing  in  the  new  tenderfoot. 


aunt  ABIGAIL  AND  THE  BOYS 

A  Farce  in  One  Act 

By  Lillie  Fuller  Merriam 

Nine  males,  two  females.  Scene,  an  interior ;  costumes,  modern. 
Plays  one  hour.  Aunt  Abigail,  who  hates  boys,  visits  Gerald  \\\  college 
and  finding  him  dressed  in  -female  costume  for  theatricals  takes  him  for 
his  sister  Geraldine.  Things  are  badly  mixed  up  when  his  friends  turn 
Up  and  see  the  situation,  but  in  the  end  Aunty  is  wholly  cured  of  he' 
4islike  for  the  "  boys."  Lively  and  amusing ;  regommended  for  school^ 
Price^  IS  cents 


COLLEGE  DAYS 

A  College  Comedy  in  Three  Acts 
By  George  M.  Rosener 

Ten  males,  four  females.  Costftmes,  modern ;  scenery,  two  interiors 
and  an  exterior.  Plays  two  hours.  Quirjcy  Jordan,  the  son  of  a  tyrannical 
farmer,  wins  a  scholarship  offered  by  a  prominent  newspaper  and  throws 
off  the  paternal  yoke.  At  Westward  College,  which  he  has  chosen  be- 
cause the  girl  he  loves  is  there,  he  is  at  first  disadvantaged  by  his  circum- 
stances, but  he  soon  makes  good  both  with  head  and  fists  and  not  cnly 
defeats  the  plot  for  his  downfall  that  his  rivals  lay  for  him,  but  comes  out 
a  victor  in  college,  wins  the  girl  he  loves,  and  carries  all  before  him.  A 
fine  piece  with  many  fine  parts  j  strongly  recommended.  Lots  of  come  iy. 
Professional  rights  reserved, 

Price^  25  cents 
CHARACTERS 
QuiNCY  Jordan,  a  fanner. 
QuiNCY,  Jr.,  his  son. 
Squire  Drake,  a  rich  farmer. 
Jerome,  his  son. 
Uncle  Hez,  a  town  character. 
Poor  House  Onnie,  another. 
Paul  Prye,  the  bully. 
Professor  Rex,  a  teacher. 
Hal  Defter,  a  student. 
Harry  C.  Graham,  a  politician. 
Jim  Brady,  a  reporter. 
Jersey,  Quincy  Jordan  s  wife, 
Violet,  Squire  Drake' s  daughter. 
Aunt  Sally,  a  town  character. 
Any  number  of  students, 
SYNOPSIS 
Act  I. — Exterior  of  Quincy  Jordan's  farm,  near  the  summet 
school  of  Westward  College. 

Act  II. — Exterior  of  Westward  College.     The  home  of  Professor 
Rex. 
Act  III. — Quincy,  Jr.*s,  law  office  out  West  four  years  later. 

THE  COLLEGE  POLITICIAN 

A  College  Farce  Comedy  in  Three  Acts 
By  H.  IV,  Weis  and  D.  T.  Howard 
Sixteen  males,  five  females.     Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  three  inte« 
Tiers.     Plays  two  hours.     Ted   Kingsley,  an  outsider,  applies  the  political  j 
methods  of  the  outside  worjd  to  the  problem  of  winning  the  election  forj 
football  manager  in  his  college  and,  after  an  exciting  campaign  in  which} 
he  shows  great  ability  in  this  line  and  sets  the  college  on  end,  he  wins  thej 
office  and  the  sister  of  his  rival  at  one  blow.     An  exciting  play,  with  the] 
true   college   atmospheie-     Lots  of  good  parts;  not  difficult;  well  recom^  [ 
mended.  Frice^  i/;  cents 


This  book  is  due  at  the  WALTER  R.  DAVIS  LIBRARY  on 
the  last  date  stamped  under  "Date  Due."  If  not  on  hold  it 
nnay  be  renewed  by  bringing  It  to  the  library. 

DATE 

DUE                             f^^^- 

^^^^                            RET 
DUE                               "^'- 

